Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
