i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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