you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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