Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
