The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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