I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
