the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
