Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
