The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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