But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize