scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
