Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
