Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
