And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
