I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Two words: nipple clamps
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