Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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