Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize