Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
this will be a night to untag.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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