You're completely useless in the revolution.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
