Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
