I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
