wat bout pragnant strippers??
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
