I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
