so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have feelings that need drinking.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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