You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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