suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
