are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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