A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize