maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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