come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
