Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
