Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize