i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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