y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
