I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
