He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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