Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize