All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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