I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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