if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
