Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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