I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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