no, he came in my armpit
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
