i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I sprained my soul last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
