Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
