Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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