If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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