if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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