but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i think my cat just said my name.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
