What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
