is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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