They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
