Your dad touched me again.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
