Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A+ Viking dick
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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