***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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