Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
