plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
