i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
