if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
