I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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